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The tooth fairy (my Jewish father) gave me chocolate gelt so my teeth would rot and he wouldn't waste any real money.

Table scraps are going to my chihuahua now so she's bound to get grotesquely fat. It'll keep her from eating my pigeon.

I stood bellow this thing for 5 hrs and eventually collected enough pocket change to buy funnel cake. #Winning

Couldn't sleep last night. Not sure if it was because I'm excited about #DaysOfTheDead or because of seeing these creep little fuckers at the Westfield mall.

Dear Universe, Spent all I had on this trip to Indy but I need copies of this pic printed. Please cut me a deal and have them done in the next few days. I promise not to litter. Love -ED

The cookies I just baked look more like pancakes. #fail

I asked the lady at ampm if these cookies were good and she said yes but she LIED. They taste funny (please ignore the missing 3rd).

Making awkward eye contact with a scary clown. Fuck you, Stephen King.

I'm buying this t-shirt. #musthave

Beautiful day at the beach today, not a speedo in sight!

Been home alone for 5 days now without human interaction (aside from phone/internet). Do I look okay to you? Starting to worry about myself a little.

Just set off the smoke alarm for 30 minutes, that was fun! RIP poptarts

I go through an awful lot of batteries. #ChronicMasturbater

Unconscious as Marc Senter carries me to bed in #ANightOfNightmares. In reality, it's much easier to get me in the sack than that, just don't slam the bedroom door in my face or repeatedly make me cry

This soggy ramen tastes like Granny's kugel if it were partially digested by an Asian man.

It's pathetic how excited I get when my pigeon lays an egg... HEY LOOK MY PIGEON LAID ANOTHER EGG!

I'm going to post this once a day so people think I'm important.

My pigeon just laid ANOTHER egg... on my bed. That makes 5 in 3 months, maybe I'm feeding her too much?

My issue of @PlayZom is in print! Not sure how to get a copy but I'll do whatever takes! Because people are supposed to collect fancy shit like this of themselves, right?

Dad hard at work babysitting. I was on the "bah-bah" and he was probably on the "marijuana". #HappyFathersDay

It happened. I went for his eyes mostly... and got about half way through his left nut. #HipsterApocalypse

Banana slugs: Why I don't visit my family in Washington

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Elissa Dowling

Hollywood, CA

Just your typical artsy, hippie chick... except I was struck by lightning once, straight into my head! No really! Also act in horror flicks and sing in a band.

web www.imdb.com/name/nm2233462/

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