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Here’s a quick 5 second clip from @edsheeran’s fantastic one man show last night in Newcastle

Look at my iPad’s lovely new wallpaper, courtesy of @Amanda_Holden

@sampsonian same here with .rtf’s. I think @Dropbox is broken

I saw this matching Mini & trailer earlier today. What kind of person would do that? #BellEnd

@Schofe This was my first tweet. #MyMumMustBeSoProud

BT Sport leaving a lot to the imagination in the synopsis for @damekellyholmes on the @clarebalding show!

@SkyHelpTeam No. I am an IT consultant and know the difference. Here’s what you display…

@SirPatStew I have an Angry Bird too, mine is topping the xmas tree in my office

#Norad’s Santa Tracker shows the big man is over Baghdad and on his way to London #santatracker

Hey @Schofe how about giving @hollywills a chocolate Santa from Lidl?

Old women are trembling with fear after yesterday’s Google/Microsoft clamp down. No more searching for this

@ProfBrianCox This venn diagram might cheer you up...

I’ve been practicing my street talk, but for the life of me I just don’t get this one

Happy Belated Birthday to @SuziPerry - sorry it's late :-)

@stephenfry I need your help to find this eBay auction with it’s epic photo #FAIL

@serafinowicz Siri #FAIL (thank God)

For those of you who aren't Pay Wall impaired check out the very funny "Jeremy Clarkson: My Week" in The Times

Top tip for Morrisons - remove the poo from the Rump of Beef before cooking it

Excited to have just received my copy of @themanwhofell new book :)

Artist Paul Nobel has been influenced by @serafinowicz 's critically acclaimed 2010 piece "Turd Race"

I wonder if this letter from Sky TV is legally binding? #FreeTV

Yes! Just got my very own iPhone spell check #FAIL

Look at the goodies that Karl Pilkington's agent sent me :-)

My cousin, Sarah, was bough a personalized chocolate bunny for Easter by her boyfriend Mark = S&M Bunny

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Martin Kayes

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