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Do you guys know how badly I want to put a cat in my new furry purse? REAL BAD

Do you guys know how badly I want to put a cat in my new furry purse? REAL BAD

Ok how about I get married and then divorced a year later so I can keep wearing different dresses.

Remember when I said getting married was the worst thing ever? I MAY have changed my mind.

"The fun part is I can't tell which is water or vodka."

Someone's excited about going shooting with James Bond today!

This one is for you, @BillSchulz

Just woke up and this is still happening.

I think I'm having a "girls night out" but I'm having a hard time admitting it.

Omg my engagement ring! Thanks @anthonycumia

@andylevy @anthonycumia NO alcohol AT ALL!

All those knobs are great, but where do I put in my floppy disc?

My bliss? My blistex. Let's see how awkward I can make this one.

Someone tried to make scramby eggs on my car! I guess the yolks on me...

@anthonycumia finally found a friend his own age.

Ass in my face.

And this.

This is what I'm doing for brunch.

Having a romantic Friday night with @anthonycumia

Please don't be mad.

I haven't wore these pants since the Carter administration. 1978 was a hoot!

Spoiler alert: ITS SO FUCKING GOOD!

This is why Facebook exists. My best friend from 3rd grade. Behold:

I hope this isn't the Outbreak monkey. Honduras rules!

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Melissa Stetten

NYC via Kalamazoo

Just trying to keep up with the Kardashians.

web www.melissastetten.com

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