Secret of long life 

A doctor on his morning walk, noticed the older lady, pictured above, sitting on her front step smoking a cigar, so he walked up to her and said, "I couldn't help but notice how happy you look! What is your secret?"

"I smoke ten cigars a day," she said. "Before I go to bed, I smoke a nice big joint. Apart from that, I drink a whole bottle of Jim Beam every week, and eat only junk food. On weekends, I pop pills, get laid, and don't exercise at all..."

"That is absolutely amazing! How old are you?"

"Thirty-four," she replied.