Does this mean I'm drunk?
Truthful Tuesday: I kiss all my pets on the lips, because I love them vm. In fact, I think you’re weird if you don’t.
After rice, my phone seems to be fine today. Now I just have to come to terms with it having been in a clean toilet.
I got a fit band for Christmas. It tracks my sleep. The lowest line is when I’m sleeping hard. I think I have issues.
I have a grievance. Concern. Question. Do any women actually respond to stuff like this at 2am Saturday morning? Why?
I DON’T KNOW WHERE TO PUT MY FESTIVUS POLE
My family has demolished this. I think I had the most.

Mommy, I’m drunk.
"Say yes, bitch. SAY YES."

Please don't say Bill Cosby was like Clinton and his cigars...
Sorry for all the mouse tweets but this is a huge trauma. I had a talk with my cat. This is not a test. DEFCON ONE.
When Twitter is perfect, it's perfection. Tweet from @PatsHoppedUp followed by a perfect picture from @BlackPplTweet.
My hard work in action:
Done moving. Mostly. And just fucking done. My back will NEVER BE THE SAME after this.

Now with a beer & my girl:
I’m perplexed. I guess I didn’t know North Korea had quiz game phone apps.

And guess who the fuck is good at math?
Who wants to come help me pack this kitchen brimming with full cabinets?

I’ll give you a beer and a hug for effort!
Woke up to what looks like an overnight cat exorcism this morning.

This is why I keep blankets on my white couches.
I want drugs. Now.

Until then I’m glaring at this old lady wearing flip-flops & showing off her bunions. Nasty sick.
@MentalRiot I still cry for my cat lost in 2007. Urn by my bed. I still wouldn't give up my time w/him for the world.
Thanks to all who sent good vibes. Moving into new house next month! Doubled my square feet & halved my rent. Genius.
Found a dream house but it’s not a done deal yet so send good vibes. House is AMAZING, but I could live in this tree:
See what I’m dealing with?
Please. PLEASE don’t be jealous of what I have on my DVR right now…
OMG he didn’t say no…
Second diss from my hot male Siri. Is it me?
I got a male Siri on my new phone, but so far he’s not satisfying my needs.

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Rachel

KCMO

I dance fast. And I sometimes have a fast kick. New and improved with a blog! http://raanonsense.blogspot.com/

web favstar.fm/users/RAAnonsense

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